Seireitei Idol
by i love thorpe park
Summary: A Singing and Dancing contest. Very funny. I'll accept requests from anybody. Btw i dont own bleach.
1. Chapter 1

-1' Captains and vice Captains report to First Captain base immediately, I repeat captains and vice captains report to First Captain base immediately' announced Yamamoto. It took a few minutes for everyone to get to the base and settle down but finally it was quiet.

' As Sou-taichou I have decide that there is going to be a singing/dancing contest between the Shinigamis. The judges will be Me, Hitsugaya and Zaraki. You will have 2 weeks to chose a song and rehearse. Tell everyone else. That is all.'

Everyone started talking and getting groups together. 'This is going to be great.' shouted Matsumoto to Hinamori a little too loud because it suddenly went quiet and everyone turned to look at Matsumoto. 'oops.' was all Matsumoto had to say. Everyone started to talk again.

2 WEEKS LATER

(btw some people may appear more than once.)

The audience were settled and so were the judges. Hanataro came on stage in a black suit complete with white shirt and tie. ' Welcome everyone to Seireitei Idol! First up we have Hinamori, Matsumoto, Rukia, Nanao singing and dancing to Lady Marmalade.'

On stage walked on the 4 girls in black corsets with a pink strip down the middle, pink short shorts with long black high heeled boots that came up a little above the knee.

'before we start I'm gonna need 4 boys to come out.' said Hinamori into the mic. Almost all the males in the room put their hands up. 'No no.' laughed Hinamori ' We are going to choose if you want to or not so there is no point in putting up your hand.' There were many sad faces in the crowd. ' Ok can Hitsugaya, Gin, Ichigo and Kyouraku come up here please and sit in the 4 chairs in front of the stage.'

The 4 guys obeyed and sat down.

The music started.

The writing not in bold during the song is the action happening at the same time when the paragraph in bold above it is being sung.

**Matsumoto: Whereas all my soul sisters?**

**Lemma hear y'all flow sisters.**

**Girls: Hey sisters, go sisters, soul sisters, flow sister**

**Hey sisters, go sisters, soul sisters, flow sister **

**Hinamori: He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge **

**Struttin' her stuff on the street**

**She said, "Hello, hey Joe. You wanna give it a go?"**

Hinamori strutted down the stage to Hitsugaya , leaned and sang in his ear, gave him a cheek wink and strutted back on stage. By this time Hitsugaya was very red in the face.

**Girls: Giuchie giuchie ya ya da da**

**Giuchie giuchie ya ya here**

**Mocca choca lata ya ya**

**Hinamori: Creole Lady Marmalade ohhhh **

**Matsumoto: What What, What What **

**Girls: Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir? **

**Voulez vous couchez avec moi? **

**Nanao: He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up **

**Boy drank all that magnolia wine **

**On her black satin sheet is where he started to freak yeah **

Nanao walked off stage to Kyouraku took off his hat and fanned herself with it. She then put it on her head stood behind him, put her in his robe and started to feel his chest. She then took off the hat, put it back on Kyouraku's head, gave him a kiss on the check and ran back onstage.

**Girls: Giuchie giuchie ya ya da da (da da da) **

**Giuchie giuchie ya ya here, oh yeah (here ohooo yea yeah) **

**Mocca choca lata ya ya **

**Nanao: Creole Lady Marmalade **

**Girls: Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir? **

**Voulez vous couchez avec moi? **

**Matsumoto: Yeeiah, yeeiah, ugh **

**He come through with the money in the garter belts **

**Let 'em know we got that cake, straight out the gate **

**We independent women, some mistake us for whores **

**We say, "Why spend mine, when I can spend yours?" **

**Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry **

**I'm gonna keep playin' these cats out like Atari **

**Wearing high heel shoes, gettin' love from the dudes **

**Four bad-ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge**

Matsumoto walked up to Gin and sat on his lap. She also started feel his chest. She snogged him. Then sang with the girls.

**Girls: Hey sisters, soul sisters, better get that dough sisters **

**Matsumoto: We drink wine with diamonds in the glass **

**By the case, the meaning of expensive taste **

**We wanna giuchie giuchie ya ya, mocca choca lata **

**Creole Lady Marmalade **

**One more time, c'mon**

Matsumoto gave Gin a kiss on the check and ran back up onstage.

**Girls: Marmalade, Lady **

**Marmalade Marmalade **

**Rukia: Hey, Hey, Heeeeeyyyy **

**Touch of her skin feelin' silky smooth hey **

**Color of caf? au lait, all right **

**Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried**

Rukia walked over to Ichigo and started to shake her ass in front of him. She then give him a kiss on the lips.

**Girls: More (more), more (more), more **

**Nanao and Rukia :Now he's back home doin' nine to five (Nine to five) **

**Hinamori: Livin' the gray flannel life **

**Rukia: But when he turns off to sleep, memories creep **

**Girls: More (more), more (more), more **

**Girls: Giuchie giuchie ya ya da da (da da da) **

**Giuchie giuchie ya ya here, oh yeah **

**Mocca choca lata ya ya (here ohooo yea yeah) **

**Rukia: Creole Lady Marmalade **

**Girls: Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir? **

**Voulez vous couchez avec moi? **

**Hinamori: All my sisters, yeah. **

**Girls: Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir? **

**Voulez vous couchez avec moi? **

(you know the rest)

When they had finished everyone clapped and wolf whistled.

'Hinamori looked hot.' Thought Hitsugaya.


	2. Chapter 2

-1'Wow, what a performance from Hinamori, Matsumoto, Rukia and Nanao' said Hanataro coming back on stage.

'What do we think? Possible winners?' Hanataro asked the crowed. The crowed cheered like crazy, almost blowing the roof away.

'Ok, we are going to have a five minute break while the next act gets ready. Have fun people.' Hanataro went back stage to see Unohana checking her face in a pocket mirror.

'Are you ok taichou?' asked Hanataro

'Yes, yes I'm fine, just nervous.' she replied.

'Unohana, Unohana.' called Matsumoto, out of breath. 'I've been looking for you everywhere.' She said clutching her side. 'I need to tell you something.'

'Taichou, you're on in 3 minutes.' called a fourth division lighting person.

'What is it quickly.' said Unohana to Matsumoto.

'Kenpachi is cheating on you.' said Matsumoto. There was total silence back stage.

'What nonsense are you talking about Matsumoto? He would never do such thing. He loves me. He said so.'

'He lied because I saw him in bed with a girl that was definitely not you. Look I took pictures.' Matsumoto gave the pile of pictures in her hand to a shocked Unohana. The pictures showed Kenpachi kissing a girl with long black hair and pale skin in his bed. (There were more pictures but I will not go into too much detail but you get the picture). Unohana turned from shocked to sad to angry in a split second. She stormed off towards the stage.

'Unohana wait' called Matsumoto. Unohana stopped and turned around.

'What!?' she replied angrily. 'Whoa, I've never seen Unohana this angry before.' thought Matsumoto.

'You shouldn't storm out and confront him. You should sing a song about him cheating.'

(Onstage)

'Are you ready to here Unohana sing 'And I?' Hanataro shouted to the crowd.

'YEAH' the crowed shouted back. Unohana walked on stage and whispered to Hanataro.

'There has been a change of plan and now Unohana is singing 'Take a bow'. Kenpachi tensed in his seat. The crowd started whispering all at once but the main thing everyone was whispering was 'what has Kenpachi done?' The whispering died down as Unohana walked onstage with her hair down and out and wearing a long red Oscar looking dress. Many men stared wolf whistling again.

'Hello everyone, how you doing tonight?' Unohana asked the crowd.

'Good' they shouted back.

'Right, I need Zaraki to sit in this chair right here please.' She said pointing to a chair in front of her. The whole crowd 'oooed'. 'Kenpachi is in trouble' shouted someone above the oooing. The whole crowd started laughing while Kenpachi looked at Unohana for some answers. Unlucky for him she just smiled. The music started.

(The writing not in bold during the song is the action happening at the same time when the paragraph in bold above it is being sung.)

**Oh, How about a round of applause, Yeah  
a standing ovation  
Oooooo, Yeah  
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah**

The pictures that Matsumoto showed Unohana appeared on the screen behind her. The crowed gasped and laughed at the same time. Unohana smiled at Kenpachi who looked very uncomfortable. He started to cry and apologise but it got drowned by the music.****

You look so dumb right now  
Standing outside my house  
Trying to apologize  
You're so ugly when you cry  
Please, just cut it out

Chorus  
Don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not  
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught  
But you put on quite a show  
You really had me going  
But now it's time to go  
Curtain's finally closing  
That was quite a show  
Very entertaining  
But it's over now (But it's over now)  
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone (get gone)  
You better hurry up  
Before the sprinklers come on (come on)  
Talkin' bout'  
Girl, I love you, you're the one  
This just looks like a re-run  
Please, what else is on (on)  


A bunch of clothes fell from the ceiling on top of Kenpachi then buckets of water fell after. The crowd laughed the heads off. While Kenpachi was trying to say sorry, with a bunch of wet clothes on his head.

**  
Chorus  
And don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not  
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught  
But you put on quite a show  
You really had me going  
But now it's time to go  
Curtain's finally closing  
That was quite a show  
Very entertaining  
But it's over now (But it's over now)  
Go on and take a bow**

Kenpachi tried to get up from the chair but he didn't know that the chair had kidou placed upon it meaning he can't get up until the song has finished. The crowd laughed even more while others swayed side to side with the beat.****

Bridge  
Oh, And the award for  
The best lie goes to you (goes to you)  
For making me believe (that you)  
That you could be faithful to me  
Let's hear your speech, Oh  


Unohana got out an award with Kenpachi on it saying 'The Best Liar' at the bottom of it. Unohana walked up to Kenpachi and gave him the award.

**  
How about a round of applause  
A standing ovation  
**

Unohana gave Kenpachi three claps for being the best liar.

**  
But you put on quite a show  
Really had me going  
Now it's time to go  
Curtain's finally closing  
That was quite a show  
Very entertaining  
But it's over now (But it's over now)  
Go on and take a bow  
But it's over now  
**

As the song ended, everyone started clapping and cheer.

'I am so busted' thought Kenpachi.


End file.
